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   Wednesday, November 12, 2008  


Nap time is one of my favorite times of the day.  And not solely because I get a break from the constant chatter (seriously -- do all 3 year olds talk non-stop? Because this kid just does not let a single silent second go by -- each and every moment he is awake is filled with his voice).  I love that I can take the time to really look at my son.  I love the innocence of his face, his long lashes resting on the apples of his cheeks.  I love hearing the occasional snore -- it makes me giggle every time.

But it's so bittersweet for me.  I love every minute of being this little boy's mother.  And I want more of this.  Each minute that I spend with him I'm both happier than I ever imagined possible and saddened that there is a very real chance that I may not get another child to go through these stages with.  But, still, I'm hoping and praying that I will.

   [ posted  @ 3:08 PM ] [ Post a Comment ] [ View Comments (2) ]
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  Comments about my post, "Naps":
Delicious, that boy of yours.

I'm hoping for you too :-)
We don't have naps anymore, and, well, it can be a long day.

I hope you get what you want.

   Saturday, November 08, 2008  

My body has gone haywire

I can't believe I've become one of those people who couldn't tell you when my last period was.  I know that, roughly, my period should be this week.  I have a GYN appointment scheduled for next Friday.  I'd hoped to discuss all of my options for having another child -- get one last medical professional's opinion before moving on with our surrogacy plans (though at the moment those are kind of in the toilet).

Monday I started feeling massively nauseated.  The nausea hasn't gone away.  I've had slightly tender and sore boobs, but not all the time -- it's bad some days, then not at all.  Right now there's none, but this morning there was.  So, whatever that means.

Monday night Mr. W went out and bought a box of 3 FRER.  I took one before bed and it was negative.  Despite our worries about what would happen if it hadn't been, we were both disappointed.

My period decided to make a visit on Tuesday.  Kind of.  Brown spotting, no real flow.  By evening there was a bit of red blood, I thought that was it.  But then it stopped.  I've had such minor bleeding every so often -- so minor that really I haven't had to use anything to protect my clothing.  Seriously.  Nothing.

I took another test either Wednesday or Thursday morning. Still completely negative.  Still no real period.  Still such incredible nausea.

I don't know what the hell is going on with my body, but I am so damned glad that I'm going to the doctor on Friday.  And hopefully either there will be a birth control prescription in my hand when I leave her office or statistics and information such that I've got the go-ahead to try to conceive a child on my own.  I'm ready to move forward in one way or another. It's time.

   [ posted  @ 12:02 AM ] [ Post a Comment ] [ View Comments (0) ]
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