The one where you see how crazy I really am
Because I am not only insane, but also extremely lazy, here is my freakout with the lovely Amalah.
(Side note: WHY does Blogger hate me so? It won't let me link. It won't let me do anything but type and click publish...wonder if it will actually publish.)
E-mail #1, Me to Amalah:
Tell me that I'm stupid. Tell me to shut the hell up and act like a logical adult. Here's the deal. Yesterday I started spotting...not like...real spotting, but just some brown spotting. Today? My boobs hurt quite a bit. And I'm EXHAUSTED and have been all week. And now I can't remember if I had sex on easter weekend or not. I messaged Mr. W and asked him and he can't remember either -- yes, if we did, it was THAT good.
So I'm freaking out because maybe the spotting is the start of my period and the boob pain is just random boob pain associated with the starting of my period and the tired is the time change and the fact that I haven't slept well at all while Mr. W's been away (slept great over the weekend, yet have been more tired this week so far than last)
On the other hand...I know that I O'd somewhere around Easter according to the whole cervical mucus thing. I haven't been temping or using OPKs because I knew nothing from the doctor and what was the point?
But...but...IF I had sex on Easter weekend at all? I could be pregnant and that could explain the spotting because I had implantation bleeds with ALL 3 of my pregnancies to date and that would explain the tired and the boobs.
Except it's probably not because we've been pretty careful about the whole condom thing. Except that we're also pretty bad about using them from start to finish, if you get what I'm saying. So, you know, chance.
I'm a moron I know and could just as easily go buy some sticks to pee on but I keep thinking that would be such a waste of money that I would rather spend on gas to go see Mr. W this weekend if he gets tickets to see Paige Davis in a limited run (this weekend only!) of the Chicago tour...seriously, Paige as Roxie...the only thing better would be to see Bebe in Chicago, but I digress.
So um...talk some sense into my fool head!
E-mail the second, Amalah to me:
You know you need to take a test. You KNOW you do. It's the only way to stop driving yourself insane. It's a cruel cruel trick that so many early pregnancy symptoms are the same as PMS, and we've all gotten ourselves into a state because of sore boobs and spotting only to be disappointed, but still. You won't feel better until test, because if you're anything like me, I still held out hope even AFTER MY PERIOD STARTED because you know, it seems a little lighter than usual so I could totally be one of those women who doesn't completely skip her periods right? RIGHT?
Go buy a test. Go to Target and get a generic so you'll still have gas money. They're all flipping the same.
3-mail, me to Amalah:
Ok...so I've made a decision. (Note how authoritative I sound when I'm really about as strong right now as Jello that's been on the counter just a little too long).
My OB insisted on an exam before he gives me Clomid. It's scheduled for tomorrow. I'm not going to tell him about the whole spotting, boob, tired thing until I get there. At which point he'll immediately send me to pee in a cup and then it is so not me caving and feeling like a damn fool when I see negative. This way Dr. P is the fool. And I can pat him on the arm and say, "See...it just wasn't meant to be this month. It'll be ok. Next month. Next month will be it for us." I'm pretty sure I'll be able to console him. And also have a nice glass of wine with Mr. W Friday night.
