Saturday, May 07, 2005

4w3d

This morning's test turned positive instantly. I'm scared to death because of yesterday's spotting. Am taking it EXTREMELY easy over the next few days/weeks. Please, hope, good vibe, nice thoughts, pray to whatever you hold holy -- I don't know if I can handle another miscarriage.

Mr. W says he just wants a baby that comes out with all it's parts intact. I told him I wasn't going to be that picky: I just want one that's alive.

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Edited to add:
My newest fear, that Mr. W agrees is only slightly obsessive and off the deep end: What if I got a positive pregnancy test but am ALREADY miscarrying beginning with yesterday's bleed? Today, mostly just brown but a little bit purpley and kind of...thick...of course, it's in the rather copious cervical mucus that I've had for a couple of days and not at all like passing clots but. Damn it, I'm a freak! Panicking before I know there is cause for panic. Happy fucking Mother's Day!

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Comments about my post, "4w3d":

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

With you and hoping.

[ Permalink ] posted by Anonymous : 9:58 AM

Ok, keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!

Thinking positive thoughts, and thinking that if you were already losing it, then the test wouldn't have turned so positive so quickly!!!

Hoping this one is the one for you!!

[ Permalink ] posted by Anonymous : 12:59 PM

Sending lots of prayers your way.

xxoo,
Emily

[ Permalink ] posted by Anonymous : 9:50 PM

I spend the last few days away from my computer and I come back to this news--quiet but sincerest congrats coming your way!

Hoping like hell that this baby is a sticky one who decides to stick around for the next 36 or so weeks!

[ Permalink ] posted by Dee : 8:54 AM