And the winner is....
The flu! BFFN (Big fat fucking negative)
I've decided not to hope yet. I just can't. There is still time for a positive test this month, but I'm not counting on it. I was so sure of it yesterday. I just can't let myself get invested yet. I didn't bother to test again this morning. I might test tomorrow, but will probably wait until at least Wednesday. I'm taking prenatal vitamins and as a rule don't do anything that would be "dangerous" if the test turns positive, so for now...going to just live my life (in my newly empty and utterly filthy apartment).