Hope is gone; the watch is over
Gentle readers, we have CD1. Or at least, I think we do. Now I've thought this with all 3 of my ill-fated pregnancies, so, you know, I'm battling with my intellect. I want Hope gone...and yet I desperately am clinging to Hope. I have had about a day and a half of bleeding (light, but definite bleeding) with each of the first 3. Meanwhile, based on the fate of those 3, I really don't want a 4th that begins as they began, do I? And isn't it too early for me to have my period anyway? I got a positive OPK Saturday, April 23. That means that if I ovulated that night (assuming the earliest possible 12 hours after +OPK) then I'm only 11 DPO. I mean...11 DPO is still in the right time frame for an implantation bleed...but...but...I don't want to think like that. And I'm supposed to go back on Clomid on cd3 -- which I can't do if I am pregnant, but I won't know 3 days from now if this was/is implantation bleed! What the hell am I supposed to do?
And of course worst of all is the thought that I won't be using Dr. P for my entire first trimester now because I am only here until the end of June.