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   Tuesday, May 17, 2005  

The one where I've lost all hope

Ok...a recap of beta numbers. Last Monday: 669. Wednesday: 1,292. Friday: 3,023.

I had another blood draw yesterday and will get the results today. I also have an appointment with my OB today.

I don't want you all to get excited about those numbers. My boobs? They had started to hurt pretty badly over the weekend. They were minimally sore yesterday morning. There is no longer ANY soreness. The staining never stopped and is now more red than anything and in greater amounts than before. I'm pretty sure what I'll find out at this appointment. And if that is what I find out? I don't think I'll have a D&C this time. With Mr. W not here, I'd have to rely on a friend to come and pick me up and I'm just not comfortable with that. Besides that, I have my grad school graduation ceremony and a family dinner scheduled for Friday night. It's my last week of full-time work. I just don't have time for this. At all. I mean, I suppose there is a chance that this isn't what's happening, but I seriously doubt it. Seriously. No comments of hope here please. I won't read them until after my appointment this afternoon and quite frankly will NOT enjoy them if the worst is confirmed. Tell me this sucks; tell me you're sorry that things are shit for me. But don't tell me about your brother's wife's cousin's sister-in-law's aunt's best friend's daughter who totally was in the same situation and now she has quintuplets. Seriously.

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  Comments about my post, "The one where I've lost all hope":
Just thinking of you....
I really am sorry that things are shitty for you. I am here to listen if you need to vent. I'll be thinking about you.
Thinking of you
Shit, piss, fuck. Oh yeah, crap too. This sucks bigger than I have words for.
My thoughts are with you. So sorry.
I'm so sorry. Keep us updated and let us know if there's anything you need or want us to do. We'll do it.
Breaking out my punching bag costume, just in case.

Thinking of you...
Thinking of you. So very sorry.

Words of warning, stay away from my site for a while now too, k. For your own health.

You take care, and like I said, I'm thinking of you.
That just sucks..I'm sorry and will be thinking about you..

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