I am a bad, bad blogger!
Seriously, I am. Of course, you know this already. I have some confessions to make.
- I do not know how to post pictures here. Seriously. I have no clue how it's done. The pictures that I've posted before? All done by Mr. W (who by the way, is a complete and total computer genius -- so much so that at age 16 he owned a consulting firm AND was an internet service provider -- rendering my need for any real technical skills void. I don't have to know it if he does, right?). The one problem with this is that if he is busy, or I am too stupid to ask him, he doesn't put them up here for me. I suppose I could ask him to teach me how to do this, but seriously, that just sounds like a lot more work than simply saying, "Honey, put this up for me????" and batting my eyelashes at him.
- I have almost no time left before the end of the month in which to post. The friend that I'm staying with Tuesday-Friday has access I could use, but then... She's a psychologist (a school psychologist, but with a master's degree in psychology and only advanced training for work with children). I'm not sure why, but she thinks that people who blog have some inherent element of their daily lives missing. She doesn't understand why we don't just talk to real people instead of feeling compelled to tell intimate details of our lives to the internet at large. I've tried to explain my reasoning to her...she still comes back to "what's missing that you can't..." So I've given up. She doesn't get the whole "this is *my* support group" logic. All that to say, I really can't write at her house. And this week I'm there until Saturday morning since she asked me to dogsit so she can go into the city for Friday night's Yankee game. (Also, even though I can't blog there, I do check my gmail account almost every day while I'm there, so I do still see your comments and have no problem sending you updates individually if you want them)
- When I get busy, I completely stop commenting anywhere. If I don't have time to write here, why do I have time to write something on your blog? Rest assured that at least a few times a week (or all weekend long) I am reading and catching up on every one of your blogs -- if I've ever left you a comment, or you've ever left me a comment with your blog linked? I'm still reading.
Ok...Confession time over. Now for a really quick update on my current state. I had an appointment with the peri's office (the one where I now live) yesterday morning. I was supposed to be having an ultrasound to check on the baby's progress and a pelvic exam. Instead? I was weighed, blood pressure was taken, pee was deposited in a cup on the counter. And then, a nurse practitioner came in to ask me some questions. We talked for about 15 minutes and then she handed me the form to give to the receptionist on my way out with instructions to come back in 3 weeks. I was in shock, so I just walked out. Mr. W was in the waiting room and expected me to come get him when it was time for the ultrasound. He was pissed when I told him there wouldn't be one. He asked the receptionist who went back and asked the nurse about it. We were told that, "Since there is no more bleeding and everything seems fine so far, there's really no need. See you in three weeks."
Now, maybe I'm just a little sensitive here, but these are the same people who a week ago told me I could have an ultrasound any time that I wanted one. These are the same people who said we should really be watching this carefully throughout the first trimester since I've lost all three of my previous pregnancies between 7 and 10 weeks and I am currently 9 weeks 4 days.
I have an appointment downstate with Dr. P on Thursday and am trying to talk to him beforehand so we can discuss the attitude of the new doctors. They're the best in the area, so I really can't switch to a new doctor. I'm at the top in all of Western New York. But I am going to call them and let them know how upset with the situation I am. I have to wait until July 1 before they are willing to give me another peek. By then, Dr. P plans to see me two times (including this week). Seriously, I've been complaining about excessive, thick, yellow cervical mucus for over a week, I have a cyst on my cervix, and my history -- doesn't that warrant at the very least a quick poke of my cervix to make sure it's closed? Doesn't the fact that the death of my first child occurred only AFTER there was no more bleeding mean anything? Don't they understand that I'm fucking neurotic now and really need the reassurance? Counting on Dr. P to give me that reassurance. Because this is insane.
And now, I have to throw some things in a bag so that I can drive FIVE FUCKING HOURS to go to class tonight. I'll hopefully have something to post by Saturday afternoon.