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   Thursday, July 07, 2005  

The one with even more neuroses

Today I am 13 weeks pregnant. I am still uncomfortable with the entire situation. I have another appointment with the perinatologist tomorrow. This will be my first appointment without an ultrasound scheduled. Since we were able to hear a heartbeat with the doppler on the last visit, they don't think it's necessary to do another ultrasound.

Proving my neuroses once again (as if anyone needs further proof of that!), Mr. W wants to rent a doppler ... But I won't let him. My biggest fear is that if we rent one, we would have a problem before it gets here. On the other hand, I can't go two weeks between appointments again without some kind of proof that things are still ok. I can go one week without completely losing it, but two is just too much.

And as I slowly get past the fear of miscarriage, I begin to fear the issues of incompetent cervix and pre-term labor that are common among women with uterine anomalies. In addition to that, for the past three generations, Mr. W's family have produced abnormally LARGE babies (literally, his grandmother? a 14 pound baby. His mother? 10 pounds. Mr. W? 12 pounds. His sister? 10 pounds...and she was induced a full MONTH early because the doctors feared the size she would reach if she went full term! Now, with my small ute...how exactly can I handle something like that??? I fear it now because members of my family, when looking at pictures of me taken two days ago said, "You look at least 5 months!!!" and, "Are you sure this isn't twins??") November, when I hit 30 weeks, just seems so very far away and so impossible to achieve.

I just wish I could decide if renting a doppler would make me feel better...or worse. I simply don't know what the right thing to do is.

   [ posted  @ 4:49 PM ] [ Post a Comment ] [ View Comments (5) ]
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  Comments about my post, "The one with even more neuroses":
Rent the doppler. I couldn't have survived this pregnancy without mine. I still won't return it, even though the kid is karate-chopping me on a regular basis now.

And if you rent from babybeat.com it practically comes the day after you order it. Two days, tops. Not a lot of time to leave you in freaking-out-I've-jinxed-everything limbo.
Go ahead, rent it. It'll make you feel better.

Hugs.
I think it helped Zoot a lot. It has been good for her to have around if she gets an urge just to check on NikkiZ...
Congratulations MissW on making it to 13w.

To be the dissenter amongst your readers, I wouldnt rent the doppler. At 16w my ob couldnt find the heart beat with his. I of course freaked out until he found the little sucker on the ultrasound machine.

So, had I have rented my own doppler and one day failed to hear the heartbeat - I would have just died. Would I have been able to rush in and get an emergency scan to find it? Probably not. So I prefer to live in harmouious oblivion where no news is good news.

Of course its up to you and it has the benefits your other readers mention. But they also have their downfalls.

Good luck
kath
Me, I had to rent the doppler. I am just so neurotic and wanted the ability to be able to hear that beat anytime I had doubts...and I had plenty. Toward the end of my pregnancy, I began to question whether I should send it back, especially since I could feel the baby moving around so much and that was reassuring. But sometimes she was still...and I needed that doppler just as I had in the early days.

If I were you, I'd rent it. Just the reassurance of having it to check could be helpful. And if not, then don't rent it. Either way, I know you and Mr. W will decide what's best for the two of you.

Hang in there my friend....


 
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