Wednesday, September 14, 2005
I am stressed beyond all possible words today. I tried not to think about it; kept saying to myself there was no problem. But there very well might be.
Next weekend, Mr. W has to drive to his parents house (about 4 1/2 hours south of here). He does networking for a real estate agency down there and they have opened a new office. Next weekend is move-in for them and he has to be there to set the network up. He's already had a good friend and colleague of his do the preliminary work (running of the network cabling according to Mr. W's diagram, etc.) but this part he simply has to be there for. He has let them know that this is the last time before the baby comes that he will be downstate. His family's accounting firm (for whom he is also the network designer and general computer guy) has already taken to phone or remote connection for all of their work.
Here is where the fun comes in. My grandparents (both 72) plan to drive the 8-10 hours from the midwest to stay with me that weekend as I will be 24 weeks and Mr. W is not comfortable with leaving me alone (I haven't driven since June, so it might be unwise for me to do so if I'm upset or scared for my son) for the three days, Fri-Sun, that he will be gone.
My grandmother had said two weeks ago that she was feeling tired a lot and had no energy. Her blood pressure had dropped quite low, though she was still taking her high blood pressure medication until after seeing the doctor and hearing from him to stop. Additionally, she is Type II Diabetic and her glucose levels were testing consistently low. Yet she wouldn't call and tell the doctor this because, "I have an appointment on Monday Sept. 12."
After that appointment we found out that she had also been having a tightness or pressure in the middle of her chest. Her regular doctor, of course, had his office schedule her with a cardiologist for testing. He wanted to give her a prescription for nitro, but said he'd first get the cardiologist's opinion in case he wanted to go a different way. Over an hour later the two offices were able to connect and in the end the nitro issue was forgotten. My grandparents decided that the cardiologist just must not want her to have it and left without asking about it specifically.
Today my mom had a car issue and called me crying on her way home from her mammogram. Of course I immediately am thinking my mom has cancer; really she was just upset because her car started breaking in the middle of an intersection and the steering went out causing her to panic as she tried to get the car off the road and the tears started when she couldn't reach my step father or the mechanic. My grandparents then came to pick my mom up to get her home. Grandma was having chest pains and argued with my mom that she didn't know what she was talking about when Mom tried to get them to go the local emergency room instead of just going home.
Of course, I spoke to Mom, she told me all of this and I fell apart. When Mr. W got home from work, I told him the whole story. He was upset because his grandfather had repeatedly said it was nothing until for him it was too late.
While dinner was cooking, we called my grandparents. I begged them to take Grandma to the doctor; Grandpa made her pick up an extension and when it became clear (about a minute and a half into the call) that they were giving me the runaround about how nothing was wrong, Mr. W picked up another phone and very emphatically let them know what he thought (ok, so he yelled a little!) while I fell apart crying hysterically.
I think that might have gotten to them. My Grandpa promised me that before next week they would call and get in early. I only hope they really do. I can't lose Grandma. And I can't let her go through a major medical ordeal and not go home.
I think I have a different relationship with my grandparents than most people do. My grandparents were very young when I was born (only 44 years old). They were always there for me. When I was in Kindergarten they moved to the Southwest. In Kindergarten and first grade, Mom took me, my brother and cousins to visit them for Spring break (my first time on a plane). Starting in second grade, I flew out the day after school let out for the summer and stayed until the week before school started back every year until the summer between junior and senior year of high school. The summer after my senior year, they moved back to our home town. I went to college in my home town, but lived in the dorm. When school wasn't in session, I had a bedroom in their house and stayed with them rather than with my parents. When grandpa broke his hip the summer after freshman year of college (falling off a ladder while painting his two story house), I slept on the couch downstairs to help him if he needed anything in the night until he was able to climb the stairs again. For me, my grandparents were not the typical grandparent. They were fully a second set of parents. They are as much a part of me as my own mother is. And I need for them to know my son and for my son to know them.
I called and asked a friend to stay with me next week so that Grandma can take care of her health. My friend isn't positive she can come, but she will try. She lives about 5 hours away in the city downstate we just moved from and I offered to buy her train ticket up here.
To say the least, it's been an extremely trying day and I am tired. Emotionally drained, and generally just wanting to go to sleep and wake up some time in February. All that and tomorrow night Mr. W's dad is coming for dinner. It's just far too much.
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