Monday, November 07, 2005
A really good day
Today was a great day in the NICU. When I got in, the doctors from the "blue team" (Timmy's team) were doing rounds. You are only aloud to be in your pod during rounds if the doctors are in another pod or are rounding on your baby. Of course, I wasn't allowed in.
So, I hung out in the breast pumping room "preparing breakfast." I took my time and relaxed until just after 10 (yes, I made a 10-15 minute pumping session take an hour (I was anal retentively scrubbing the pieces of my pump, cleaning the counters where I would lay them down, etc.) I may have also taken a nap.
At ten, I finally got in to see my beautiful son. And then the "gold team" began rounding in my pod and I had to leave. Stupid "confidentiality." Screw that! Seriously, I don't notice a fucking thing when I'm in that room if it doesn't have a direct connection to my son.
So, out I went to sit on the couch in the scrub room just outside the NICU. I spent about an hour there, flipping through various baby catalogs. Finally just before 11, I was in.
When Timmy's doctors rounded, they discussed his protocol for the next 24 hours. Nasal cannula back down to 1.5 L of room air (still no oxygen). No more bilirubin tests -- he's leveled off and is past the point where most premies have to go under the lights. That isn't to say that he couldn't still become jaundiced, he's just past the most likely point when he would. Feeds back up to 2 cc every 3 hours. So far, he has digested them all. He gained weight for the first time today! He's up 5 grams to 1025 g (birth weight was 1210 g). AND...he's pooping again! Today he had a bit more meconium mixed in with his poop making for a tarry black and green mess and one pissed off little boy as I tried to get it off his little thighs and butt cheeks. He got so pissed off that he pissed all over my hand. But I totally deserved it. It had to have hurt getting the same tiny spot wiped over and over again. Then after Mr. W got off work this evening, he changed Timmy's diaper. Another poopy mess. And as Mr. W wiped him off? The boy shit on his father's hand. I felt such pride! Since I had held him and fed him several times during the day, I let Mr. W do it all tonight. There is nothing so heartbreakingly beautiful as watching the man you love caring for your child. I literally melted into a puddle of goo right there on the NICU floor.
So...all of those are good things, but the best part of the day? Feeding Timmy while he laid across my bare chest. Feeling the rhythm of his body against mine. Knowing that that is the way it is supposed to be. Me and him, together, closer than anything else in our lives. After he finished eating (it takes about 15-20 minutes) we reclined in the chair and just laid that way for nearly two hours. He only went back in the isolette because Mr. W arrived for lunch and I was more than an hour and a half late taking my pain pills. Otherwise, we might still be there in that chair. I know I would have never gotten up.
All that good stuff...and now I have to start loading up on the pain pills. Tuesday morning my staples get removed. Am ever so scared!
For those who asked, I do have the current circumference of Timmy's head. I accidentally left it in the car when we got home and I am very tired. It's either 26.5 or 29.5 cm. I will look in the morning. I have no idea how fast his head will grow...maybe we shoot for a number a bit bigger than that so that it fits after shipping?
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