Miss W -->

   Monday, December 12, 2005  

In which I realize I don't have it so bad after all

Timmy is not home yet (obviously) and we don't know when he will be. He's fine -- was checked for infection (again) and there is no evidence to suggest he has one though all of the results of the blood work/urine analysis and cultures are not in. The part that is in is all normal, so yay for that! He's gained another 40 grams putting him at 17something...which equates to 3 lb 14 oz. Almost four pounds -- only 2 oz (60 grams) to go!

The baby beside us was also supposed to go home today. A little girl. Her parents' first. She was also doing just great. And then they did a head ultrasound. She thought it was routine since Timmy was also having one. Timmy's was his 6 week ultrasound to check for neurological development and ensure there were no hemorrhages (a word I can't spell and am too lazy to spellcheck). His came back clear.

Hers was for another reason. Apparently a nurse felt her soft spot and thought it felt too "full." So...they checked it out. And she has hydrocephaly. They are doing an MRI and a CT scan tonight to determine if there is an obvious cause for the fluid buildup (a blood clot, etc.). She may have her head tapped (like a keg to release the fluid). She may have a shunt to release the fluid. Or she may have to have full out brain surgery to fix/remove whatever the cause of the pressure and fluid buildup turns out to be.

All in all, our room was a devastating place to be today. First I lost it because Timmy didn't want to eat, had dropped his temperature significantly at one point and then had to have an NG tube inserted because his food/calorie intake was not at the minimum level. Then the mom next to me found out about her little girl. And both of us felt like we had been hit by a truck by the end of the day -- so close to home, yet neither of us making it.

Granted, she was hit by a much larger, much more scary truck than I was. Timmy could still be home this week. And I know I still have much to be grateful for. Strangely, one of those things is an overly cautious attending neonatologist who will not let my son come home before he is absolutely ready.

(And in an odd bit of foreshadowing, the other mom and I were talking early in the day, long before she spoke with the doctor. And I said that I was feeling down and followed up with this gem: "Just imagine how you would feel if you were told that she wasn't coming home today after that was already a done deal." Seriously. I said that. Shoot me now. I know I didn't know and had no way of knowing and for that matter neither did the other mom, but dammit -- I wish I could go back and unsay that. I don't want that to be in her memory. I just don't.)

   [ posted  @ 10:09 PM ] [ Post a Comment ] [ View Comments (2) ]
   [ E-mail this Post ]

  Comments about my post, "In which I realize I don't have it so bad after all":
Don't be so hard on yourself. You couldn't have known.
You are both in a battle for your precious babies. And it is a battle. Prayers, good medical care and a lot of love will bring these babies home, when the time is right. Until then, battle on and don't lose your faith.
I'm praying very hard for you, Timmy and that other Mom and her baby. (the Dads too!)
Big hugs to you and your family and to that other family too.

You are all in my thoughts.

August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
February 2010
May 2010
June 2010
March 2011
April 2011
August 2011

A Little Pregnant
Barren Mare
Broken or Not
Chez Miscarriage
Fractured Fairytale
Here Be Hippogriffs
Horkin Ramblings
Never Ever Late
One Pink Line
The RE's Muse
Scrambled Eggs
So Close
Uncommon Misconception
The Unproductive Reproductive
Wasted Birth Control

[=Powered By=]

[=Designed By=]

Customized by Miss W
Scripts / Code by "Mr. W"

Send Miss W. E-Mail!