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   Wednesday, April 05, 2006  

Adjusted age: 12 weeks

And still he is quiet. We get the occasional coo, every now and then a laugh. But mostly we have lots of silence. He's very alert and checks out everything going on around him, but he is making no attempts to really involve himself vocally in the world. Since it is just me at home with him most of the time, I make an effort to talk to myself, verbalizing absolutely everything that I'm doing. (Seriously, how many times can you say "Oh, no, daddy's sock is inside out, let's pull it the right way, now I'll grab the other sock and roll roll roll!" without going insane???) In addition, I try to leave the television on so that there are other voices...anything to get him to hear more language. I'm just hoping that he decides to make some noises soon.

I can honestly say that I'm getting very worried about his development. In one short month we perform the ages/stages to determine where he is developmentally and if he will need extra help from early intervention professionals. I go through the questions myself every few days just to see if we have made any progress. At this point, he still is in the "needs professional intervention" in all but one category. I'm just so very worried about this.

Now, I do know that every child develops at their own pace and that his pace may not be the norm. I also know that statistically speaking, children who do not meet the norm are likely to have some sort of problem. And even if he doesn't have a problem, per se, I still don't like the thought that after having been poked and prodded by so many doctors and nurses that we could have to add occupational therapists to the long list of people messing with my son.

I think that's become my refrain from the time that I realized staying pregnant was going to be an issue, through my testing and diagnoses, to the preterm birth of my son by c-section: I WANT SOMETHING TO BE NORMAL, DAMN IT!

   [ posted  @ 11:13 AM ] [ Post a Comment ] [ View Comments (7) ]
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  Comments about my post, "Adjusted age: 12 weeks":
"...I still don't like the thought that after having been poked and prodded by so many doctors and nurses that we could have to add occupational therapists to the long list of people messing with my son."

I was just saying this to my husband about my one son. His head is a bit mishapen, and now he has to have an MRI and to be seen by a neurologist, and maybe wear a helmet. I know the helmet wouldn't be a big deal to him probably, but I just feel like it would bring out all the bad feelings I have stored up about the scary first months of his life and that I would cry every time I looked at him. That, and I just hate to see him be, as you say, poked and prodded any more. I too worry about development. My one son is developing faster than the other, so it's hard not to compare. One does not really reach for toys or hold onto them, and I guess he should be able to by now. When will we be off the hook?? Hang in there. I'll keep checking in and wishing the best for you.
I want to say one thing. Sort of the voice of reason. My daughter Mandy was born three weeks after my cousins son, Dennis. Dennis ws cute, but totally plascid. (spelling?) Anyway, he was late doing absolutely everything, and he was a full term 9 pound baby. Mandy did everything early and fast. Everyone thought maybe Dennis was slow or retarded or something. Well, he wasn't he was just Dennis. They're now adults and they both are fine. Mandy is still a type A personality and Dennis is as smart as a whip, but just really laid back. I'm thinking only positive things here, okay?
I hope everything is fine and he's just a quiet, observant kid.

But the one bright spot if he isn't OK, is that therapists don't poke and prod your kid. They play with them and are just another adult who loves your kid. My nephew has a serious developmental disorder (genetic) and his therapist is one of his favorite people in the world. She coems and plays with him a couple times a week and he looooves her.
It's frustrating to think he may need some therapy but if so he will benefit so much from it. I'm hoping he won't need it at all and that as others say he's just taking it all in waiting for that perfect moment.

I have a friend who didn't talk for so long they thought he was disabled then one day he strung a whole sentence together and has been doing it ever since, he's also quite intelligent.

I felt exactly the same way... remember when all you could want was that he'd be healthy? Now it's all this development stuff - and it is just as anxious prone. But they do all seem to get there... just on their own schedule. My son (31 weeker) did not really coo or laugh for the longest time. Now he should be squealing and saying "bah" or "dah" according to the Early Intervention people - but he seems very observant and alert and the Ped. thinks he's doing just fine. I just try to remind myself about that. The good thing is that there are wonderful resources out there just in case lowercase needs them.n Someday you'll look back on this and wonder why you were so worried.
I hope your worries disipate,your baby boy looks adorable and perhaps it is a blessing in disguise that he is quiet.
Their personalities are there from the begining and perhaps his is very calm. If you say he is alert that is a good sign. I know I would worry too.
Delurking to say, I understand your feelings and they are valid. But also, the early intervention isn't as bad as you think.

My kiddo sees a physical therapist, a developmental specialist, and a feeding specialist. What I have noticed is that my son loves these people. His best friend in the world is our physical therapist. He loves this man. So while sometimes I tire of having people in my house, it is actually wonderful to see my son bloom with their help.

I don't want to discount how you are feeling, because I think we all feel that way. The - when is something going to be normal - feeling. But I wanted to also offer some encouragement if you do need some EI. Anway, thinking of you and sending positive developmental thoughts your way.

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