Thursday, November 16, 2006
Is it wrong?
Lately there has been a lot of talk among my friends and family about so-and-so's next baby and when they will have a second (or third). Because Mr. W and I have been through so much and were so adament in the beginning that we were done, we are never the topics of those conversations, which, you know, fine by me!
But I've been thinking about it. Those of you who have been reading for a while know that. I've always wanted at least two children, preferably more.
My lowercase was born 10.5 weeks prematurely. I knew it was a possibility that he would be, but I feel that I wasn't given all the facts regarding what that meant. I was told "30 weekers are just fine" by the RE who told me to give it another shot and that there was nothing he could do to assist me since the problem has always been maintaining a pregnancy.
During delivery and the appointments after, the perinatologist who did my C-section informed us that having held my uterus in his hands, he could assure us that I would not be able to carry a full-term baby. Any future pregnancies, he said, would end up in a premature delivery at roughly the same point (give or take a couple of weeks in either direction). My uterus simply isn't big enough and a 2 lb 11 oz baby was such a tight squeeze that the doctor had trouble getting his hands inside to pull him out -- such trouble that he used a vertical rather than horizontal incision into the uterus (read: labor will make my uterus rupture, absolutely ZERO chance of VBAC).
Knowing what I know now...what a 29.5-weeker really goes through, what the real risks are, how much care is required and how long the NICU stay is likely to be...assuming of course the best case scenario which God knows is rare and quite honestly, if we had it once I'm inclined to think we would *not* a second time. (Wow...run-on much?)
Knowing all of that, is it wrong to become pregnant again? (FYI, this is purely because I'm interested in your opinions. The Mr. and I are not considering this any time in the near future -- kind of hard to have the energy to even think about the activity involved in making one, which we do not given the current state of sleep in our home)
I just wonder...if you knew you would have a preemie...If you knew the risks that baby would face both for survival and then developmentally...what would you do? Is it morally right to attempt to have a child you know would be premature?
I will attempt to post my thoughts on the subject in a day or two -- once I figure out how to keep my son from throwing envelopes all over the floor and how to keep him from getting the scissors out of the box they are stored in in my desk.
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