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   Thursday, January 08, 2009  


I don't know what to do right now.  Mr. W's business seems to be picking back up and this year has the potential to be the most financially profitable in the company's history.  THREE major newspaper chains (2 in the US, another in New Zealand...or Australia, I don't remember which right now) are on the verge of each signing contracts with dollar values attached that have 7 digits BEFORE the decimal point.  In addition, they have another venture that they are working on in a whole other industry that has the potential to be extremely profitable.  I'm still very nervous about it all because of the fact that 2008 was also supposed to be the most profitable year ever -- you know, before the economy tanked and the companies who were going to sign those deals last year (the 2 US deals) postponed them to 2009 to save their financial bacon.  And, of course, being the pessimist that I am, I fear that this will continue to happen.  Though, as my husband, a former IT guy at one of the US companies, attests -- they NEED this product if they want to remain in the black -- his product actually allows the industry to SAVE money and has a fairly quick ROI.

But that isn't what this post is about.  At least not entirely.  After the surrogate debacle in the fall, we kind of floundered for a while.  Mr. W became very anti-surrogacy, but I knew he would come around again.  He's now at a point where he again agrees that we will be doing it, but doesn't want to talk about the when of it all until we have all the money for it in our account and ready to go.  He doesn't want us to add any debt load of any kind, especially with the current state of things.  And while, logically, this does make sense...I AM NOT LOGICAL WHEN IT COMES TO THIS!

I've been talking to a surrogate that Kym recommended to me.  She seems really wonderful, but I can't give her a time frame.  Potentially June if Mr. W's business partner agrees to withdrawing profits twice in the year rather than at the end of the year as he has traditionally done.  Otherwise, we're looking at January 2010 as the earliest we could do this.  So...this could be a problem.

The potential surrogate, M, has rheumatoid arthritis.  She goes into remission when pregnant but is in pain without her medications when she isn't.  Her medication is category x.  It causes birth defects.  It's bad.  (She hasn't said which it is, but just in my looking, it's very likely methotrexate)  She isn't on it right now because she's still nursing her youngest who is almost 1.  But she feels the time running out before she either needs to get pregnant again or go back on the medication.  She e-mailed me yesterday saying that she didn't know what to do.  She would rather wait for me to be ready, to do this with us.  But we don't know our time frame and I can't ask her to stay off her medication for, potentially, another year.  She would have to be off the medications for 3-6 months prior to becoming pregnant per her doctors' orders.

So, now I have a dilemma.  Do I ask her to wait for us?  To go back on her medications but then go off for us later?  And knowing that she's on a category X medication (but one she doesn't need during pregnancy), would it be easy to find an RE who would approve her as a gestational surrogate?  Her own pregnancies were not considered high risk, full term vaginal births (though she did conceive her 2nd while on her medications and there were a lot of doctors weighing in during her first 8 weeks or so of that pregnancy; in the end, they deemed that she found out soon enough that it was likely not going to be a problem if she hadn't miscarried at that point; her daughter is healthy and normal).  So...what do I do?  How do I respond?

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