Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Decisions blow

I can't make a decision. It's too hard. I don't know. And Mr. W doesn't know. And our family members don't know. NOBODY knows. There is no answer that is 100% right, nor is either answer 100% wrong. I just don't know what to do. I don't.

[ posted @ 2:45 PM ] [ Post a Comment ] [ View Comments (7) ]
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Comments about my post, "Decisions blow":

I wish life had 100% gaurentees. I often find that you just have to go with the gut, or the heart, which ever screams the loudest. Then all that's left is to pray for the best.

[ Permalink ] posted by 4katnap : 5:59 PM

I hope you figure out what's best for you, whatever that is. You must still be reeling from having your mind blown by the peris--maybe as a little more time goes by and your brain calms down from the shock you'll be able to hear your heart more clearly?

[ Permalink ] posted by electriclady : 9:10 PM

We are in exactly the same spot right now...like literally! I say go with your gut...do what you feel most comfortable with. For us, I think we're jumping on the surrogacy route. My UU and past pregnancy just doesn't point me any other way. ((hugs))

[ Permalink ] posted by sara : 8:05 PM

I'm emailing tonight....yes our little one was fortunate . 34 weeks. But in the meantime I was on mag sulfate 3 times, procardia, nitro, and other drugs and brynn has some liver dysfunction. I underwent tube feedings and a central line due to a reverse peristalsis and wonder if brynn's problems are due to this so here we are. Thx so much for emailing. I would love to join the boards, another uu mom would be great. sorry for the typos. i'm feeding brynn as we speak, lol!

[ Permalink ] posted by sara : 2:58 PM

We decided to go for it - and in our hail mary IVF cycle - am currently 8 weeks. Some days I think I can do it... other days I'm paralyzed in fear all over again and think, "what the hell was I thinking?". Ultimately our wish for a sibling for #1 was what swayed our decision (and not having the resources for a surrogate). But it is a risk... I guess the thing is at least I know that we can have a healthy child - even after the traumatic pregnancy and a 31 weeker. My peri was optimistic about a 2nd pregnancy (uterus stretching), my OB was a bit more cautious - thinking that my body just can't support beyond 31 weeks. We have a blueprint to work with, which is more than we did the first time around. Best of luck in your decision.

[ Permalink ] posted by Andrea : 8:05 PM

How are you? Been checking in now and then. Hope you're okay!

[ Permalink ] posted by meanmama : 5:53 PM

Thanks for letting me follow along! How are you?

[ Permalink ] posted by sara : 11:08 PM

Friday, March 20, 2009

Today we met with the perinatologists who delivered the lowercase three years ago. We were fully prepared for them to say it wouldn't be wise for me to get pregnant again.

The did not say this. My world feels like it has been thrown upside down. Basically, it boiled down to them thinking it would be a good idea, my risks exactly the same as they were before the lowercase, no higher, no lower. I might carry full term, I might not. I might go into labor earlier, at the same gestation, or later than I did with him. No way of knowing other than to try it.

They looked at us like we had three heads each when we said we were thinking of surrogacy.

I'll try to be coherent later when I can sort this all out in my own head.

[ posted @ 9:06 PM ] [ Post a Comment ] [ View Comments (1) ]
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Wow. Interesting news and I'm sure it's all a lot for you and the mister to consider.

Sending you lots of love and hugs while you sort all of this out. Hang in there :)

[ Permalink ] posted by Anonymous : 12:49 PM