Friday, December 17, 2004

My uterus has a first name....

I woke up today feeling extremely nervous. My HSG was at 12:45. I went to work from 9:00 to 12:00, then my husband and I drove to the hospital. Here are the results...

Please note the differences between "normal" and "me." My doctor saw this and said, "Huh, your uterus is shaped like a sausage...that could be the reason." This also explains our pattern of getting pregnant on the second month of trying and never the first. I can also assume by this that I would get pregnant not in the 3rd month, but the 4th. The dye only spilled on one side. I know that I do have a left ovary because I've seen it in ultrasounds. But the left tube is either non-existant or hopelessly blocked.

I am extremely angry right now. Not at Dr. P. He'd never seen me before my first pregnancy. He's only seen my uterus in an enlarged pregnant state. I've had no less than 15 ultrasounds in the past 12 months and 3 D&Cs. I would like to think that a structural problem of this magnitude would be noticed, however it wasn't. In fact, nobody noticed it. My anger lies squarely on the shoulders of Dr. R (pronounced "y" for he is Korean). He had ultrasounds done long before my husband and I were ever trying to become pregnant. Nearly 5 years ago, I had him check me out head to toe to make sure that my health problems were not going to be an issue. He assured me that they would not. And, while I trust the opinions of all the other doctors involved (pulmonologist, GP, orthopedic surgeon, genetic counsellor), I think Dr. R (pronounced "y") needs to be beaten. The ONE thing he should have checked himself and he didn't notice it? This man is a former chief of obstetrics at our region's premiere hospital for maternity patients! What the fuck?!?!

But more than anger, I feel a sadness so pervasive that I cannot describe it adequately. I want to have hope. I want to be positive, but looking at something like that, I don't see how it's possible. I leave tomorrow for Christmas with my family and return home late on December 29. December 31 I have a pelvic MRI to see if the outside shape of my uterus matches the inside shape. Just in case there is a possibility that we can somehow surgically correct that fucked up sausage of a uterus (hereafter to be referred to as "Li'l Smoky"). If not...can any of you spare some change to help finance an adoption? Volunteers to carry my child within your less-fucked up uterus will also be accepted. Trust me when I say, my husband, myself and Li'l Smoky will greatly appreciate it.

[ posted @ 8:06 PM ] [ Post a Comment ] [ View Comments (6) ]
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Comments about my post, "My uterus has a first name....":

Damn, I am so sorry. And damn am I pissed at Dr. R (Y)--WTF?

Please try to enjoy Christmas--one day at a time until the 31st. I'm hoping you get some real answers then. And I'll be thinking of you in the meantime.

[ Permalink ] posted by Dee : 8:22 PM

I'm so sorry. Is there not ONE of these RE's who can do their job right? And I'm not talking about the braggarts who opine their knowledge to us about their success rates with women who most likely would have gotten pregnant on their own -- yeah, buddy, thanks for nuthing. Why can't one of these idiots actually HELP one of us who really needs help and isn't an easy case? I can't believe they could miss something that obvious.

Thinking of you.

Emily

[ Permalink ] posted by Anonymous : 8:30 PM

How the hell did Dr. R never do an HSG before?? This is so outrageous -- I'm sitting here with my mouth hanging open. My G-d, I am so sorry. I hope you get some real answers from someone who's actually doing their job correctly soon. Thinking of you.

[ Permalink ] posted by E. : 9:14 PM

I don't know if you've already left for vacation, but please don't freak out yet. Well, you can freak out if you like, but it might not be as bad as you think.

First off, ultrasounds can't diagnose any structural problems with your uterus. Secondly, D&Cs are done "blind" (I know - really reassuring), and can't tell the doctors if anything is wrong either. Thirdly, after three D&Cs there's a good chance that the sausage shape of your uterus is due to scarring, not a true, permanent abnormality.

If scarring is what is causing the problem, there's a good chance that surgery can repair the damage. Let me rephrase that: there's a good chance that surgery conducted by someone who is SKILLED AT TREATING ASHERMAN'S SYNDROME can repair the damage. Maybe even your tube.

Please go to my sight and check out the category on "Fun with Asherman's". You'll see that I've dealt with all this myself. It was scary, but the result has been wonderful.

I hope you get this message in time not to totally ruin your holiday with thoughts of dread. And I'm keeping my fingers crossed that all of this is "fixable".

Julia
Uncommon Misconception
http://uncommonmisconception.typepad.com/home

[ Permalink ] posted by Anonymous : 6:04 PM

Oh man, that sucks. Not only Lil Smoky, but the fact nobody has clocked it until now. I guess the lesson is...trust no one. But that is harsh, really harsh, and I would be raging, too, if I were you. I'm so sorry.

[ Permalink ] posted by Mare : 3:28 PM

I am so sorry MW.

My faith in ultrasounds are decreasing by the day.

[ Permalink ] posted by Kath : 1:06 AM