Wednesday, March 16, 2005
It had to happen some time
My "friend" messaged me today. If I weren't crying, I'd link to the post I wrote about her on August 7.
She decided, while I was at work, with no warning whatsoever to tell me that she is pregnant and due in October. I lost my shit at work. I ran crying from my desk to the bathroom. I'm such a mess.
She's on medication for epilepsy and has had the dosage dropped to a level that might keep her from having seizures and might not harm her baby.
And I'm not happy for her. I'm fucking pissed. I am mad as hell. She didn't even want a baby until after she found out I was trying. But her husband didn't want a baby. He didn't agree to start trying until after I'd already miscarried two. And yet she's in this race with me. My first pregnancy she told me she was going to be better at being pregnant than I am because "I don't like things that are caffeinated or anything diet so I won't be introducing those toxic chemicals to my baby." And then my baby died at 10 weeks and she told me that I shouldn't have told anyone before 12 weeks, everybody knows that! She actually followed that gem up with "I hope you've learned your lesson!" Sadly, while she hurts me, she's seriously THAT stupid and clueless. She literally honestly does NOT know that these are the wrong things to say. It doesn't excuse it, but it's the only reason I do not hate her completely. It just is NOT FUCKING FAIR that she gets a baby and I don't. It's not.
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